Decide 2 Matter

Spirit's Way

This site has moved to Spirit's Way.com which isn't up and running yet, but it will be very soon. I need to design the layout and the banner image. Also, my creativity coaching webpage is probably going down and going to change.

I'm becoming more aligned with my interests and on Spirit's Way I intend to talk about vibrational alignment, earthy magic, and being in touch with nature and spirit. Hope to see you there!

Being Authentic

What exactly does it mean to be authentic? First and foremost, I think it means knowing who you are. Though you can't really "be you" if you don't know who that is. Moreover, I think we can get so caught up in people pleasing, going along with the crowd, or acting out old behaviors, that we really don't notice we aren't being totally authentic or at least being who we'd "like" to be.

Authentic to me means carving your own path. It means having the different opinion, not going along with the gossip, and sticking to your own story. If you think about someone you admire, what is it that you admire about them? Is it because they are just like everyone else? Is it because they went along with the crowd? Of course not. The people we admire stand out because they are true to who they are no matter what.

Are you worried that by being authentic you will make a scene, lose some friends, or bring criticism your way? Being authentic and standing up for yourself doesn't mean that in a loud voice you tell everyone to stop complaining or that you are right and they are wrong. Instead it could be as simple as honoring your decision to not be negative or not to argue by walking away. It's kind of like a peaceful protest in which you hold to your values without hurting anyone else. And will you get criticized for being different. Probably. But those who criticize are just worried that their perfect idea of who you are has changed. You've messed up their world by being different, but that's their problem not yours.

What could you do today to align yourself more with who you are? When was the last time you stopped yourself and said, "Is this who I really am? Do I want to be this way?" Honor yourself by getting to know who you are. Being authentic is what makes great artists and creators. Head down that path of greatness by embracing your unique self. Be authentic today!

A Day, A Week, A Month Without TV - I Dare You!

So, how long do you have it on? Does your hand reach around for the remote first thing in the morning? Do you turn it on immediately when you get home from work? Is it your meal time friend?
What is this ever persistent thing calling your attention? The TV - and I dare you to not turn it on.

If you are a creative person longing to do your own work, why are you sitting in front of the TV admiring someone else's creation. And you know half the time that the show you are watching is just okay and that is doesn't really enrich your life.

Is TV an addiction for you? The online Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines addiction as follows.

Main Entry: ad·dic·tion
Function: noun
1 : the quality or state of being addicted   <helpful definition that>
2 : compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly :persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful

Dictionary.com has added the following in their definition.

The condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with or or involved in something. An instance of this: had an addiction for fast cars.

So, are you conditioned to turning on "the boob-tube", "the idiot box", or the "glass teat" as I've heard it called? If you don't think you are conditioned, if you don't think the pull of this instant entertainment box has you in its grasp, then just don't turn it on for a day. Heck, I dare you not to turn it on for a month!

Can I do it? I don't know. I've been watching American Idol and it's the only show I watch regularly. I can always check online to see who wins. When I was in college, I didn't own a TV. In my spare time between classes, homework, and sleeping, I drew pictures, read lots of books, and taught myself how to write music on the computer.

Living without cable is easy for me. Now I have Netflix and I catch up on seasons of shows that are available on DVD. What show isn't on DVD these days? Before I know it, my evening is gone because I want to watch just one more episode - then I can send the disc back and get another in.

What could we do without the TV sucking up our valuable time?  Let's find out!

Though this is where withdrawal may set in. Do you worry that not knowing some piece of news will diminish your day? I assure you that someone some where will be shot  or robbed or kidnapped. Some bus will blow up overseas killing many. There is likely some food you are or aren't eating that is causing cancer or that cures cancer. There is some product that you don't have that would make your life so much better. There is some moron eating live maggots to win a prize. Another group of strangers will yet again turn vicious as they are locked in a room and filmed. Mary Sue probably did have Billy Joe's baby even though she was cheating on him with Darryl Bob at the time. And many other useless things you will be missing out on when you turn off the TV. But you'll get over it. Honest.

And anyways, you can always catch up on your gossip, news, and more online. So what's your problem. Get to it. I dare you!

Imagine all the things you could do; all the pages you would write; the paintings you could complete; the books you could read; the exercise you could get. Turn off the TV and use your own imagination. The possibilities are endless.

Accept Where You Are

Perhaps you have great plans as an artist, but you can't seem to get anywhere with them. Have you accepted where you are right now in your life, in your craft, in your journey? Not accepting where you are right now is like longing to climb the mountain without looking down to see your shoe laces are tied together. Won't get you where far will it?

Your life may be tangled right now. You may have clutter to get rid of, more training to do, and some time wasters to eliminate. While it's fantastic to have hope and to look forward, there will be no forward momentum if the messes of right now get cleaned up.

Currently I'm taking piano lessons as you probably know. While watching American Idol the other night, I saw the pianist that's helping the singers. He was amazing. When one of the singers wanted to change his song, the pianist improvised something cute on the spot. Immediately I felt the stirring of desire. How I so wanted to be there. Not on TV (well maybe someday), but at the level where I could just improvise something that sounded good. Sure I can make stuff up now - writing music is another one of my passions - but I'm not at the level of those jazz or classical pianists that can just whip up something impressive. I can't "jam with the band". Bands scare me a little. All those people counting on me to play. I'm not at the level where I could comfortable play with a group of people let alone jam with them.

But, if I keep looking at what I'm not, I'm not going to get anywhere. Moreover, I'm focusing on the gap between there and here; the great pianist and the intermediate pianist that I am (though early advanced my teacher told me - woo woo). By staying in that "wishing I was there mode" and not putting anything into action, by not accepting where I am right now, the gap widens and I get even more frustrated.

So, I've had to look at my practicing habits. How much do I practice? Could I practice more? What are my time wasters? Where am I right now? If I shake myself out of even a self-pity mode of "poor me, I'm that good yet" I can begin to see that the jazz or classical pianist had to start somewhere. And I'm starting somewhere, too.

Where are you right now? Are you longing to be more than you are? Have you accepted that you need to take steps to get there? Accept where you are and then start from there. It's the only way to go.

Are You Blocked? Try Taking Care of Yourself

Do you feel stuck? Do you have writer's block? Do you dread the blank canvas? Does the dance floor scare you? Are you just in a funk? Well, perhaps in pushing yourself to create and in focusing on only creating you forgot to take care of yourself.

Maybe you've convinced yourself that it's okay to be half asleep, hooked on coffee, living off candy bars, and physically unfit while you create. We've all heard of authors who wrote their best books while they were high. We've seen plenty of "behind the scenes" music specials about druggie rockers, and we've heard about various actors who had alcohol problems or eating problems.

Whether you realize it or not, you are an instrument of creation. So, a sleepy, nutrient deprived, addicted instrument cannot create very well can it? Instead of throwing the "B" word at you, balance, let's focus on the "H" word, health. Being healthy means difference things to different people. Perhaps you can't balance your schedule, but at least while you juggle the kids, the housework, the bills, and the deadline on your book, focus on being healthy while you are doing it.

What fuel are you putting in to your body? If you are totally numb from eating the standard American diet (SAD) of high fat foods, sugary treats, and salty snacks, then it's no wonder you can't create freely. Your poor brain is dying (probably literally) for some good fuel or food for thought (pun intended). Your entire system is lagging and you are probably so used to it being that way you hardly notice. Instead you lament your lack of inspiration or even motivation.

So, what to do? Get educated about health. Try adding more veggies into your diet. You know you should. We all know we should. I find when I'm eating junk food, the healthy food looks so boring. But for the past 5 days I've had nothing but veggies and fruit. What I've noticed? Life seems much cleaner and clearer. Another important fact is that I'm not suffering from an upset stomach that used to come from eating greasy fried foods. Now nothing stands in the way of me creating. Eat properly.

How about movement? Do you spend 8 hours on your butt at work only to drive home and sit some more? If your body is like a river, then it's definitely not flowing. Without movement, it's more like a puddle with all the sediment collecting on the bottom. Have you checked the size of your bottom lately? Get your energy flowing and go for a walk. Let your feet carry you along, let your mind soak up the sunshine,  and let yourself take in the sights. Just moving will help you on so many levels. If anything, that stored up frustration from being blocked will be walked off. Get moving!

Are you thinking too much? Do you analyze every paint stroke, every dance move, ever wrong note in a song? Give your brain a rest! Trying to create when your brain is whirling like a record on high is impossible. There's no room for anything new to come in because your thoughts are going in circles. And since our primitive brains can't distinguish imagined emergencies from real emergencies, your adrenaline is pumping and you are stressing yourself out.

Now is the time to stop.  Get out your journal and write write write. Julia Cameron is famous for her morning pages that she recommends in The Artist's Way. Start writing every day. Get the junk out of your head. Clearing out all these old thoughts is like emptying a cluttered room. Suddenly there's room to move, new ideas and flow in, you can breathe freely and actually appreciate the moment. Clear your mind.

Are you trying to do everything? Are you working on your business, your website, your clients, and your art? Every muscle in your body is probably scrunched to its limit. When was the last time you asked for help with something? Or do you prefer to do it all yourself? Whether you are a spiritual person or not, there is a lot to be said for surrendering. Taking care of yourself means letting people take care of you as well. Or if you are spiritual, let God, the Goddesses, the Divine, your higher self, your guides, your angels, or the universe give a helping hand. Creativity is a process and part of that process is letting go. Just try it. Ask for help and then surrender to it.

In conclusion, when you wish to create you must tend to all the aspects of your life. Eat properly. Get moving, Clear your mind. Ask for help. Then surrender!

Making a Difference, Making a Connection

How important is it that we make a difference when we create? And what does it mean exactly to "make a difference"? Does making a difference mean getting customers and/or clients? Does making a difference mean helping someone? turning someone on to opera, abstract art, poetry? Does it mean we must touch hundreds of people or just one?

When you decide to matter, it can be scary at first. Then you may feel slightly indulgent. Look at you - you matter! And if someone sees and compliments your work, your creativity, it can feel pretty good.

However, if we don't find a community of people to join - fellow artists, musicians, book groups - the decision to pursue our creativity can be a lonely path. Those same doubts and fears we banished at least briefly when we decided to take our art seriously can come rushing in to fill the void.

That's where making a difference comes in. To me, making a difference is as simple as connecting to other people. I think most of us fear being alone, unloved, and misunderstood. We wonder if anyone will like our singing voice or if someone may laugh at us for trying to dance again at 50. We question our decision to pursue the PhD in literature. We wonder if our story is good enough. But just finding that one connection with someone else, be it someone who appreciates what you do or someone who admires your courage to continue, I believe these connections are key to our success.

One way I make a connection is by playing piano in the lobby of the office building where I work. It isn't so much during the playing that I'm making the connections, but after. People I don't know who work on other floors will see me in the elevator and say "Aren't you the woman who plays the piano?"

What's even better is when the conversation leads to this kindred spirit saying, "I just started learning the guitar" or "my son takes piano" or "you can play the piano in the lobby? I play too but didn't know if I could play it."

At work, I've been wanting to start a community board of sorts for the building where people could post things about their interests; where people could meet to discuss art, music, entertainment, etc. Hearing each others stories and connecting on even the smallest level confirms how important our creative spirit is. By supporting each other and by letting our creative spirits mingle with their brethren, we make a difference.

We are all like little children, making art, singing songs, dancing lively. And like little children, we hope to make a difference, hope to making someone else smile, and hope to see our creative voices displayed proudly on the refrigerator of life.

What could you do to further your connection with someone else?
Is there somewhere you could display your work?
Is there some group you could join?
Could you volunteer to help with art, music, writing, dance?
What does making a difference mean to you?