Decide 2 Matter

Living Fearlessly

What exactly is it you believe in? Do you believe in God? Do you believe in the Goddess? Do you believe in a loving universe that has a divine intelligent all its own? Well, I figure if you found your way to my blog, you likely believe in something greater out there. If so, then why do you worry? Why are you so afraid of being who you truly are? Why don't you let that wonderful spirit inside you shine more often?

Yes, I'm talking to you. You know who you are. And deep inside there are marvelous treasures you long to share with the world. You do so by sharing your spirit with others. You connect. But in order to do so, you must live without the fear.

First off, the fear is about feeling separate from others. You are afraid of how someone might respond to you. You are afraid you will be left alone, will lose your job, will have no friends. But we are all in the same boat, you and I. We are trying to survive. We put food on the table, we watch our weight, and we look for divine guidance. And most importantly, we are all human beings trying to live right by our set of beliefs.

It doesn't matter where those beliefs come from. There's a Taoist poem I'm going to mangle that says it doesn't matter what you call your donkey (Zen, Christianity, Muslim, Taoist, Wiccan), they are all going to get you up the mountain. And what's on top of that mountain anyways? What is all of this for anyway?

Are you putting off living your dreams because if you sacrifice and serve others you will become a saint? That is something I totally disagree with. We are all given gifts and it's our job to use them. SARK has said how the world needs our creativity. Someone else important said that the world needs whatever we have to give.

What do you have to give? And what is stopping you from sharing it with the world? If you believe in a loving God or an intelligent universe, then why not take the plunge and start being more authentic, more real, and more alive right this second? When you look back on your life, do you see failures or love? There may have been some bumpy times, but you survived. Didn't you? Sure your credit card debt is pretty high, but you have food on the table. There are loved ones near by. Right?

Stop worrying so much. The universe is here to support you. It literally says "Yes" to whatever you believe in. Trust your spirit, trust your intuition, and trust the universe. Live fearlessly starting today.

Life is Too Short

I just got done watching the movie Last Holiday with Queen Latifah. It's a story about how a quiet an unassuming woman discovers that she has only three weeks to live. She takes her life's savings, cashes our her IRA, and sells all her bonds. And what does she do with that money? She lives!

Yes, you all can imagine the ending. It's a happy one no less. But I think we all need a good dose of reality - something that shakes us up and reminds us how to live.

Georgia, the main character of the movie,finally learns to live now that she has nothing to fear. What could happen to her? She only has three weeks left. So out she goes into the world.

People all around her are drawn to her. Not only does she look beautiful, but she's enjoying herself. Anything she feels like doing, she's doing. Georgia takes snowboard lessons, buys beautiful clothes, orders all the entres at the fancy restaurant. Now I'm not saying we need to spend all our money to have fun. But rather that to really live we must fearlessly be ourselves.

To me, that's what being an artist is about. Whether you paint, act, sing, dance, carve, or write, the sheer act of putting your spirit to paper, to movement, to clay, takes courage. You dare to live and show the world who you really are. What are you holding yourself back from? I entertain the idea of making a CD of my piano compositions. I dream of writing inspiring books. I even dabble with the idea of being a psychic (I'm a new age nerd, I'm sorry, I admit it.) or a spiritual counselor.

In fact, we also need to stop apologizing for who we are. There's a coach/author whom I read, Coach Rachelle Lee, and she says that when you start getting criticism, it means you have made it somewhere. No matter what you do with your life, you are going to offend someone. And the fact is, if someone is offended, then that person needs to deal with his or her own "stuff".

Everyone is more worried about what you think about them than how your butt looks in those pants or how you messed up in your dance performance. In fact, no one noticed you messed up. Of course there are a few people who will go out of their way to criticize you.  But you know they are only doing it because it takes the pressure off of looking at themselves in the mirror. So with all that said, what are you doing? Why are you so afraid of living?

We trick ourselves into thinking we are afraid of dying. We go to church. We pray. We do everything right - according to our holy Book of Right. But in truth, we are afraid of living. We are afraid our painting will get rejected or that someone will laugh our acting. In truth, our spirits are strong  and we are loved by the universe. If only we would stop being so afraid of each other and more importantly of what's inside us.

Life is too short to sit by wondering if someone will like us. Would you want someone to write "Went Through the Motions" on your headstone? Or "Made Everyone Else Happy"? Wouldn't it be cooler to have: Mother, Sister, Friend, Artist, Inspiration.

Okay, have I motivated you enough yet to really go after your dreams and live your life? I hope so. If anything, I've motivated myself! Life is too short not to be lived. I'm off to eat a cookie and to write some music.

How to Get In Touch With Your Spirit

What does it mean to connect to your spirit? Do you even know what your spirit feels like? Do you know what feeds your spirit? I'm a huge fan of Sonia Choquette, and she asked that question in one of her books. Actually I think it was her newest book, Ask Your Guides.

So many of us want outside help. We pray to God/dess. We ask the Universe. We ask our angels. But within us resides another wonderful powerful compass full of love and light. What could it be? Your own spirit.

Take some time to look within yourself. Sonia Choquette often asks, "Do you know what your spirit feels like?" Well, do you? What moves you? What makes you cry happy tears? What are you passionate about?

One way to connect to your spirit is to surround yourself with the things you love.Try writing a list of 100 things you love. This could be as simple as playing with puppies or hearing your granddaughter giggle.

Some things I love? Talent shows. Reading. Drawing. Playing piano. Helping people on the computer. Listening to and supporting friends. Whatever it is you love, it can help your spirit come alive.

Today get in touch with your spirit by thinking about what you love.

Monitor Your Thoughts

Have you noticed how easy it is to make judgements about other people? We are trained from an early age to notice what's wrong with us and those around us. How? Think of your test grades as a child. You may have received a 98 on a test, but you got 2 wrong. We ignore the fact that you got 98 right. It's those 2 wrong that get marked in red. I wonder how we would have turned out if the teacher put a huge smiley fact on everything we got right instead.

We are encouraged to speak negatively about ourselves. If we admit how wonderful and talented we really are, it means we are bragging and too full of pride. Moreover, liking yourself and how you look can be considered vain. Obviously anything in extremes sends us out of balance, but most of us never get the chance to admit we may be good at something. We are programmed to keep the good stuff to ourselves. Often we feel embarrassed when someone highlights our accomplishments.

This spills over into our outlook on life. We spend useless time worrying about how we will pay the bills. We wonder if a person likes us. And we spend too much time looking outside of ourselves for the answers. Also, to distract ourselves from our own insecurities, we easily find fault in others. Often it isn't malicious. Just the other day I noticed that a young girl carried her weight in a very odd way. In truth I felt bad for her because I could imagine her being picked on in high school. Yet I noticed that although I felt sympathy for the girl, I was also judging her. Why couldn't she be fine just the way she was? Why did I have to take time out of my day and focus my thoughts on how different she was?

Today, observe your thoughts and notice what you put your focus on. Thoughts create, so don't waste time judging others or yourself. Everything is perfect the way it is, it's only our thinking that makes it good or bad. Today just notice the world around you and leave the judgements home.

Get the Tools You Need

Okay, when was the last time you bought that $50 brush? Are you still using a keyboard instead of a digital piano? Are you using the cheap water color paper? Do you longingly look at the Corel Painter program and wish you had the money for it? Are your dance shoes kind of shabby?

Well, what are you waiting for? Depriving yourself of these delicious tools speaks volumes about how much you value your creativity, yourself, and your creative work. Just last week I purchased some music software that I've been wanting for over a year. A year. How much did this software cost? About $350. Being a student, I actually was able to get the software for $199.

Why did I not get the software? Was it too much money? My friend who just bought a house would say I was crazy for getting something so expensive. But I have the money. I've had the money. My "private" savings account is set up just for these types of purchases. There's the house savings, the gifts savings, and the private savings. The money has been there. So why did I not get the software?

Did I not have time to learn the software? Was there no training available? There's a website I found that gives you access to online training. It has a monthly fee, but it isn't that much. Plus there are books and tutorial DVDs available. Berklee has an online extension school that teaches classes on music production. I've taken one of them before. Nothing stopping me there.

Was the software hard to get? No, you can get it online from numerous sellers or at Guitar Center. You can have it in your hands ask quickly as you can swipe a plastic card.

So why did I hold off so long on getting this software?

Perhaps it's because as artists, it's easier to daydream about what it would be like to actually do art. Producing art is scary. It forces you to dig deeper into your psyche. You must uproot things you wish would stay dead and buried. You question your beliefs, attitudes, and opinions. The world takes on meaning and it is your job to express it.

When you create, the world has new meaning. It's your job to express it through your eyes. But with creating you stir up many things. Some of them include unjustified expectation, fear, worry, and self-criticism - to name a few. They may sound like this:

Well, if I purchase the software, then I need a better sound card.
Maybe I won't be able to write music like I used to.
Am I doing the right thing? And who am I kidding? I'm wasting my money on this.
It's not going to anywhere.

Stop those thoughts!

Yes, deciding to matter and purchasing the tools you need on your creative journey awaken a lot of fears. Sometimes it's much easier to sit and dream. But you will never know what you might have said, who you might affect, what music is inside your soul.

Today, make a list of the items you wish you had in your creative tool box. Better yet, look over what needs updating or replacing. Take your art seriously (and you know by art I mean all creative outlets) and get the tools you need. Once you do, you have one less excuse in the way of creating that next masterpiece.

Happy creating!