Decide 2 Matter

Your Heart Knows the Answer by Gail Harris

I'm reading a wonderful book right now called Your Heart Knows the Answer by Gail Harris. It's exactly the kind of book the world needs right now. We are so inundated with choices, advertising, news, and opinions bombarding us on all sides. So it's important that we learn to turn inward and listen to our own inner guidance to help us lead the way. Gail Harris knows from personal experience that following your heart is the only way to a happy spirited life.

Now, I read a lot of self-help books, spirituality books, and spirited, fun books. What I liked about this book is that it doesn't hit you over the head with all the things you should be doing in your life. It slowly welcomes you back to the wisdom of your body, mind, and spirit. Yes, those three words are often overused and they saturate the market, but what Harris does is encourage you to find your heart's voice wherever it resides.

For me, my heart's voice appears in the "gut" reactions of my body. Also, I feel things with an inner knowing - when you just know. What I was worried about was finding that "inner voice" amidst all the mind chatter that I typically have throughout the day. But Harris has you identify with those other voices and recognize where they come from. By doing so, you realize that your heart's voice and guidance is still there, you just must listen a little bit harder. She gives you permission to find that voice wherever it lives within you.

Though a small book, it's packed with beautiful ceremonies, prayers, and affirmations (it even says so on the cover). There's one that I just love to pieces and can't wait to actually finish. It's where you marry yourself and promise to love yourself forever. We are often advised to love ourselves more, but actually marrying yourself? The more the idea sunk in, the better I felt about it: kind of like drinking hot chocolate on a cold snowy day. The warmth just spread out to toes and the sweetness made me smile. Now I'm searching for the perfect ring or piece of jewelry. So whenver I wear Ican say, "I'm pretty neat and I promise to love myself all the more."

Your Heart Knows the Answer by Gail Harris is a treasure of a book that should be in anyone's collection. It helps you reconnect with who you are and offers you unique new opportunities to reunite with the guiding voice of self-love. Moreover, its simply friendly guidance brings you back to yourself and shakes you out of your slumber with important questions such as:

If you are in a relationship, does it continually take you deeper within yourself and challenge you to renew yourself?

Why not challenge yourself to live your best life by picking up a copy today? Or better yet, buy a copy for a loved one. You'll love yourself for doing so!

You can find out more by going to Gail's website at: www.yourheartknows.com

In the Meantime

So you are pursuing a new career, trying a new line of crafts, working on a new piano piece, and you have a plan. It's going to take a lot of work and a lot of time, but you know you can do it. However, what do you do in the meantime?

What exactly is "in the meantime"? It's when:

• the kids are in bed and the spouse isn't home.
• you just submitted your homework, book proposal, your project outlines, and you won't hear back for a day, week, or month.
• everything is going as planned and you have some time off.
• you are waiting in line.
• you are in between assignments.

Given we live in a fast paced society where we must do, do, do, many of us don't know exactly what to do with ourselves when we have those rare free moments.

In my experience, two things happen we are stuck in the meantime. We either fill every extra second up with more activities or we wait. Either option deprives us of the must needed rest and recovery that our mind, body, and spirit is longing for.

When we have free moments, we need to remember the following.

• It's okay to do nothing.
• Progress comes over time.
• A recharge wouldn't hurt.
• Your mind could use a rest.
• It's okay to stare at the wall, the garden, your cat, or the ceiling.
• Some of your best ideas are born in the meantime.

Here are some suggestions on what to do in the meantime.

• Take a walk or take a hike.  Getting your body moving will help with the lull you are feeling right now. Your body will appreciate exercise and better yet, your mind can take a break as you enjoy your surroundings.
• Take a nap. I'm sure you could use some more sleep.
• Get our your journal. Connect with who you are. Write our your concerns. Explore future possibilities. Or just write nonsense. The physical act of writing has a rejuvenating effect in that is clears some of the mental debris we have lingering around in our heads.
• Go sit outside. For one thing, we don't spend much time outside. Most of us only see "nature" when we take the dog out, bring the garbage down to the street for pickup, or walk from our car to the office. Do you remember what a butterfly looks like? Have you watched a sparrow hop around? Have you pet your cat lately? Did you forget what non-conditioned air feels like? Sit outside and look around.
• Read a fun book. For you this could be a fantasy novel, an auto-biography, or even a mystery. Stay away from self-help books. This reading is for pure fun. Let your imagination run away to far off places.
• Go to a spa, get a massage, or get a facial. Spend some time nurturing yourself. You've come this far in your endeavors. Nothing says you like yourself more than self-care.

Whatever you do in the meantime, remember that life is about the journey, not the destination. Moreover, life happens in the meantime - so why not enjoy that time.

Piano Diaries

I rarely post my own music online because I'm always worried about copyrights and all that jazz. Somewhere is my fear that one of my melodies will be heard on the radio being credited by someone other than yours truly. This isn't to say my music is so amazing. But more that I'm reluctant to post my music in a public forum.

And at the same time I entertain the idea of podcasting my improvisions. Then perhaps selling the editied and mixed versions on a CD. The podcasts would contain all my mess ups.

So, here is one of my songs. It's about six megs. It's completely live, made up as I go, non-edited piano music copyrighted by yours truly.

August 1, 2006 Evening by Kayll Harrington from Piano Diaries

Hope you like it.

Taking the Next Step

Today I was listening to Cheryl Richardson at Hayhouseradio.com talk about doing the next step. She says that people get stuck in A to Z thinking which can be very overwhelming. Take my current path for example. I'm studying to become a therapist and eventually hope to offer therapy, spiritual counseling, and creativity coaching. I'm heading down a long road that will take many years for me to reach my destination. With A to Z thinking, I'm get absorbed in the final destination. Suddenly, the many steps in between blur into this one giant leap.

But in truth, as Cheryl reminded listeners, all we have to focus on, need to focus on, can focus on is the next step. What can you do next? I would like to focus on posting more to this site. My next step is to read more books on creativity and to thus provide more content. Another next step is for me to just finish my psychology homework. Have to pass the course don't I?

It's so easy to lose touch with what can be done right now when our sights are set on our future goal. It's almost like looking at the stars and trying to walk down the street. Have you ever tried that at night? I almost always get dizzy while looking up and walking forward - never in a straight line.

Watch where you are going, look ahead, and pay attention to your next step. You can't climb mountains by looking at them hard enough. Small steps.

Exercise

1. Write down your goal or dream on a piece of paper
2. Identify the next step you could do towards that goal
3. If you aren't sure, ask someone else what they think
4. Ask for help if you need it
5. Get moving towards that next step

Life is Too Short

I just got done watching the movie Last Holiday with Queen Latifah. It's a story about how a quiet an unassuming woman discovers that she has only three weeks to live. She takes her life's savings, cashes our her IRA, and sells all her bonds. And what does she do with that money? She lives!

Yes, you all can imagine the ending. It's a happy one no less. But I think we all need a good dose of reality - something that shakes us up and reminds us how to live.

Georgia, the main character of the movie,finally learns to live now that she has nothing to fear. What could happen to her? She only has three weeks left. So out she goes into the world.

People all around her are drawn to her. Not only does she look beautiful, but she's enjoying herself. Anything she feels like doing, she's doing. Georgia takes snowboard lessons, buys beautiful clothes, orders all the entres at the fancy restaurant. Now I'm not saying we need to spend all our money to have fun. But rather that to really live we must fearlessly be ourselves.

To me, that's what being an artist is about. Whether you paint, act, sing, dance, carve, or write, the sheer act of putting your spirit to paper, to movement, to clay, takes courage. You dare to live and show the world who you really are. What are you holding yourself back from? I entertain the idea of making a CD of my piano compositions. I dream of writing inspiring books. I even dabble with the idea of being a psychic (I'm a new age nerd, I'm sorry, I admit it.) or a spiritual counselor.

In fact, we also need to stop apologizing for who we are. There's a coach/author whom I read, Coach Rachelle Lee, and she says that when you start getting criticism, it means you have made it somewhere. No matter what you do with your life, you are going to offend someone. And the fact is, if someone is offended, then that person needs to deal with his or her own "stuff".

Everyone is more worried about what you think about them than how your butt looks in those pants or how you messed up in your dance performance. In fact, no one noticed you messed up. Of course there are a few people who will go out of their way to criticize you.  But you know they are only doing it because it takes the pressure off of looking at themselves in the mirror. So with all that said, what are you doing? Why are you so afraid of living?

We trick ourselves into thinking we are afraid of dying. We go to church. We pray. We do everything right - according to our holy Book of Right. But in truth, we are afraid of living. We are afraid our painting will get rejected or that someone will laugh our acting. In truth, our spirits are strong  and we are loved by the universe. If only we would stop being so afraid of each other and more importantly of what's inside us.

Life is too short to sit by wondering if someone will like us. Would you want someone to write "Went Through the Motions" on your headstone? Or "Made Everyone Else Happy"? Wouldn't it be cooler to have: Mother, Sister, Friend, Artist, Inspiration.

Okay, have I motivated you enough yet to really go after your dreams and live your life? I hope so. If anything, I've motivated myself! Life is too short not to be lived. I'm off to eat a cookie and to write some music.

Get the Tools You Need

Okay, when was the last time you bought that $50 brush? Are you still using a keyboard instead of a digital piano? Are you using the cheap water color paper? Do you longingly look at the Corel Painter program and wish you had the money for it? Are your dance shoes kind of shabby?

Well, what are you waiting for? Depriving yourself of these delicious tools speaks volumes about how much you value your creativity, yourself, and your creative work. Just last week I purchased some music software that I've been wanting for over a year. A year. How much did this software cost? About $350. Being a student, I actually was able to get the software for $199.

Why did I not get the software? Was it too much money? My friend who just bought a house would say I was crazy for getting something so expensive. But I have the money. I've had the money. My "private" savings account is set up just for these types of purchases. There's the house savings, the gifts savings, and the private savings. The money has been there. So why did I not get the software?

Did I not have time to learn the software? Was there no training available? There's a website I found that gives you access to online training. It has a monthly fee, but it isn't that much. Plus there are books and tutorial DVDs available. Berklee has an online extension school that teaches classes on music production. I've taken one of them before. Nothing stopping me there.

Was the software hard to get? No, you can get it online from numerous sellers or at Guitar Center. You can have it in your hands ask quickly as you can swipe a plastic card.

So why did I hold off so long on getting this software?

Perhaps it's because as artists, it's easier to daydream about what it would be like to actually do art. Producing art is scary. It forces you to dig deeper into your psyche. You must uproot things you wish would stay dead and buried. You question your beliefs, attitudes, and opinions. The world takes on meaning and it is your job to express it.

When you create, the world has new meaning. It's your job to express it through your eyes. But with creating you stir up many things. Some of them include unjustified expectation, fear, worry, and self-criticism - to name a few. They may sound like this:

Well, if I purchase the software, then I need a better sound card.
Maybe I won't be able to write music like I used to.
Am I doing the right thing? And who am I kidding? I'm wasting my money on this.
It's not going to anywhere.

Stop those thoughts!

Yes, deciding to matter and purchasing the tools you need on your creative journey awaken a lot of fears. Sometimes it's much easier to sit and dream. But you will never know what you might have said, who you might affect, what music is inside your soul.

Today, make a list of the items you wish you had in your creative tool box. Better yet, look over what needs updating or replacing. Take your art seriously (and you know by art I mean all creative outlets) and get the tools you need. Once you do, you have one less excuse in the way of creating that next masterpiece.

Happy creating!

New Focus & New Blog

For those of you interested, I have a new blog that I just created. There are only a few posts, but I hope to do most of my posting on that site. It's called Spirit's Way and can be found at www.spiritsway.com .

I've decided that my spirituality and creativity matters most, so eventually I may stop posting on Decide2Matter. Instead I might have a creativity feature on Spirit's Way. We are all creative beings and most of the planet believes in a creator. So having a creativity post on a spirit directed blog makes sense to me.

I've always been interested in intuition, the divine, nature, crystals, stones, imagination, fun, joy, psychic development, art, music, writing, and tuning in to my higher self and the universe. If you are interested, please check out my new blog.

And don't worry, this isn't a stuffy spirituality blog. I love dreaming about worlds in the clouds, little birdies stopping by to say hello, spirits on the wind, and great strength flowing from majestic trees. Embracing spirit and living a spirited fun life means bringing your imagination back to life. I feel the most connected to my writing ideas when I'm dreaming up some fantastic dragon story or high priestess character. Actually I feel a lot of my good writing ideas were more channeled or intuitively guided. Are you ever creating something to much bigger than yourself you wonder "where exactly did this idea come from?" At the same time, if you tell someone you are talking to guides or angels and he or she says, "Oh, it's just your imagination" who is to say she is wrong? Do you know where your imagination comes from?

Spirit's Way is about discovering again what moves your spirit. Because art, writing, and music move my spirit, I feel it's a natural transition. Trusting your spirit will help you create more. You will find more meaning. You will blast through your critic's demeaning voice. You will have faith in your work. So please join me for spirited living, awakening your imagination, embracing the beauty of the universe, and enjoying your creative spirit.

Creativity and Free Time

Sorry it's taken me so long to finally post again. With my free time taken up with homework and school, my schedule needs some serious adjustment. That brings me to my current topic of discussion: creativity and free time. Before I started school, I had lots of free time to do what I enjoy. I could practice piano any time I wanted. My Netflix DVDs were watched and sent back steadily. Better yet, I responded to emails on a regular basis.

But something was missing through it all. With my free time, I often didn't know what to do with myself. I missed the structure of commitment (i.e. an art class I was paying and getting credit for). Sure, I wanted to create more, blog more, and coach more, but there wasn't much drive behind it. When I got around to it, I would ..well.. get around to it.

With my wasted Saturday mornings of sleeping in, watching TV, and doing household chores, I felt I was ready to take on the accelerated program at Baypath College in MA. So I signed up.

Do I enjoy school? Absolutely! But now my creativity is suffering. It's the old cliche saying that you don't appreciate something until it's gone. That would be me right now. My piano practice time has diminished down to nothing and my Netflix DVDs collect dust even though I'm still charged each month. And all the spirituality books I recently bought just sit staring out at me: reminding me of the money I spent on something I'm not using.

Why is it that we don't appreciate creative time until we don't have it? Many of you are probably thinking "gee, she has free time? I have three kids!" But I'm sure you have activities in your life that aren't fulfilling or soul inspiring that are pushing your creativity to the back burner. Do you really need to keep up with Lost, Desperate Housewives, or American Idol? See, I have to do my homework if I want to get a high enough grade to warrant corporate reimbursement. But I really don't need to keep up with American Idol, a video game, or my Netflix DVDs. Or rather I could keep up with all of that if I want my piano lessons to be wasted.

Last night I had a lesson and my teacher said I should be practicing my songs for 2 hours a night. I'm not sure if he meant each song since I'm practicing (let me count on my fingers here) 3 or 4 or songs. Oh and throw in my daily finger exercises which take about 15 minutes and we are talking about a lot of time just for piano. Granted if I was a professional pianist, I would be practicing at least 5 hours a day. My teacher was practicing that much and still managing to teach students. Perhaps that's why he's retired now.

For you piano lovers out there, I'm practicing the following: Rachmaninov's Prelude in C-sharp minor Bach's Invention No. 8 Debussy's Claire De Lune

And I can't remember the name of the fourth song. Perhaps it's because I don't like it very much. It's one of those "easy" songs that you have to play at 70 mph. So when you are practicing it slowly, your ego is strutting around saying "Ah, this is SO easy. We can totally do this." But when it comes time to play it at the correct speed, your fingers crash and burn on the keys, leaving your ego sitting on the sidelines with a bump on the head and a bad attitude. "Stupid song."

Now that my piano time has been affected, I didn't realize how much I wanted to practice. When I was bored and had lots of extra time, I practiced maybe 15 minutes a day. Yes, I should practice more, but I would stop when I felt I was "done". But as the songs get harder, I find myself more motivated to get them perfect. I want to impress someone. I want the wow factor. "You can play that?!?!?" Why I get motivated right when I have less time to practice is beyond me.

Take time today to review your priorities. What one thing could you give up? What one thing would you miss if you were told you couldn't do it anymore? Is creativity important enough to ignore TV over? Is it important enough to schedule time for? If someone said you could never paint, sing, draw, dance, sculpt, or play again, what would you do?

Being Authentic

What exactly does it mean to be authentic? First and foremost, I think it means knowing who you are. Though you can't really "be you" if you don't know who that is. Moreover, I think we can get so caught up in people pleasing, going along with the crowd, or acting out old behaviors, that we really don't notice we aren't being totally authentic or at least being who we'd "like" to be.

Authentic to me means carving your own path. It means having the different opinion, not going along with the gossip, and sticking to your own story. If you think about someone you admire, what is it that you admire about them? Is it because they are just like everyone else? Is it because they went along with the crowd? Of course not. The people we admire stand out because they are true to who they are no matter what.

Are you worried that by being authentic you will make a scene, lose some friends, or bring criticism your way? Being authentic and standing up for yourself doesn't mean that in a loud voice you tell everyone to stop complaining or that you are right and they are wrong. Instead it could be as simple as honoring your decision to not be negative or not to argue by walking away. It's kind of like a peaceful protest in which you hold to your values without hurting anyone else. And will you get criticized for being different. Probably. But those who criticize are just worried that their perfect idea of who you are has changed. You've messed up their world by being different, but that's their problem not yours.

What could you do today to align yourself more with who you are? When was the last time you stopped yourself and said, "Is this who I really am? Do I want to be this way?" Honor yourself by getting to know who you are. Being authentic is what makes great artists and creators. Head down that path of greatness by embracing your unique self. Be authentic today!

A Day, A Week, A Month Without TV - I Dare You!

So, how long do you have it on? Does your hand reach around for the remote first thing in the morning? Do you turn it on immediately when you get home from work? Is it your meal time friend?
What is this ever persistent thing calling your attention? The TV - and I dare you to not turn it on.

If you are a creative person longing to do your own work, why are you sitting in front of the TV admiring someone else's creation. And you know half the time that the show you are watching is just okay and that is doesn't really enrich your life.

Is TV an addiction for you? The online Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines addiction as follows.

Main Entry: ad·dic·tion
Function: noun
1 : the quality or state of being addicted   <helpful definition that>
2 : compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly :persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful

Dictionary.com has added the following in their definition.

The condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with or or involved in something. An instance of this: had an addiction for fast cars.

So, are you conditioned to turning on "the boob-tube", "the idiot box", or the "glass teat" as I've heard it called? If you don't think you are conditioned, if you don't think the pull of this instant entertainment box has you in its grasp, then just don't turn it on for a day. Heck, I dare you not to turn it on for a month!

Can I do it? I don't know. I've been watching American Idol and it's the only show I watch regularly. I can always check online to see who wins. When I was in college, I didn't own a TV. In my spare time between classes, homework, and sleeping, I drew pictures, read lots of books, and taught myself how to write music on the computer.

Living without cable is easy for me. Now I have Netflix and I catch up on seasons of shows that are available on DVD. What show isn't on DVD these days? Before I know it, my evening is gone because I want to watch just one more episode - then I can send the disc back and get another in.

What could we do without the TV sucking up our valuable time?  Let's find out!

Though this is where withdrawal may set in. Do you worry that not knowing some piece of news will diminish your day? I assure you that someone some where will be shot  or robbed or kidnapped. Some bus will blow up overseas killing many. There is likely some food you are or aren't eating that is causing cancer or that cures cancer. There is some product that you don't have that would make your life so much better. There is some moron eating live maggots to win a prize. Another group of strangers will yet again turn vicious as they are locked in a room and filmed. Mary Sue probably did have Billy Joe's baby even though she was cheating on him with Darryl Bob at the time. And many other useless things you will be missing out on when you turn off the TV. But you'll get over it. Honest.

And anyways, you can always catch up on your gossip, news, and more online. So what's your problem. Get to it. I dare you!

Imagine all the things you could do; all the pages you would write; the paintings you could complete; the books you could read; the exercise you could get. Turn off the TV and use your own imagination. The possibilities are endless.