Sometimes things just don't go your way. People disappoint you. That's the truth.
You share something personal, something revealing, with a friend and he reacts like you are diseased and insane - slowly inching his chair away from you. You are left feeling exposed and alone. Now with one less friend.
Or the wonderful idea you shared with your manager isn't well received. He's not interested and your co-workers think it's silly when you explain it to them. You hoped it would bring you the recognition you feel you deserve. Time to go back to the drawing board.
Then there's that job interview that you knew you aced. However, weeks later you find out that despite how great you are, someone else was an even better fit. That life in the new role, the pay bump, new locale and responsibilities are all meaningless now. You feel foolish for even dreaming and now feel trapped yet again in the same old job.
What about when someone forgets to introduce you to an important business contact or to a new group of friends? Or you've walked around all day with what later looked like an entire piece of broccoli stuck in your teeth? Why wasn't anyone paying attention? Didn't anyone notice you?
Sometimes people and situations disappoint you. Inherently you may often think the folowing:
- She should look out for me
- He should listen
- People should like my ideas
- He should accept me for who I am
- They should know I'm talented and valuable
- People should tell me I have brocolli in my teeth
These thoughts can be very painful when people don't follow them like they should. How dare they? Don't they know the rules?
I'd like to reframe some of those thoughts with some new ideas.
Should people look out for you? Well, do you look out for you?
Do you listen to you? Do you hear how you talk about your life? Do you notice the constant dialog running through your mind?
Do you recognize your own skills and know how to promote them? Do you even know what you like to do? Do others?
What about providing yourself with little helpers like a hand mirror to check for teeth salad disasters instead of hoping your friends will point out your brocolli tooth display?
How much are you relying upon others to care for you, support you, be there for you, and listen to you when you likely don't do any of those things for yourself?
The truth is that you can be there for yourself even when others are not.
Instead of focusing on how other people can disappoint, think of all the opportunities where you can speak for yourself and introduce yourself. You change how you see the world based on how you think about the world.
When you rely upon others to take care of you, it's very frustrating. Realize that you get to take care of you. You have more control over your life and what you focus on.