Decide 2 Matter

Gifts Aren't Always Wrapped

With consumerism on the rampage, it's easy to forget all the other wonderful gifts we receive each and every day. These gifts do not come wrapped, but are bestowed upon us in numerous ways. When we acknowledge these gifts, we open our eyes to the abundance of the world. What gifts have you been given?

Here are some that may come to mind.

• The person who let you cut into the lane when traffic was heavy.
• The man who smiled at you when you were feeling down.
• The baby that stared into your eyes.
• The woman who gave you an extra coupon at the store.
• The man who held open the door for you.
• The compliment you received on your outfit.

There are others gifts we don't even realize we have. Clean water. Heat. Enough food to eat. Good friends. A stable job. A reliable vehicle.

We are surrounded by so many blessings, but it's easy to forget when we move so quickly in our lives. Stop a moment today and notice what gifts you have received be they wrapped or not.

Spread Cheer

With the holiday hustle of shopping, parties, and eating, it's no wonder we end up exhausted after the entire ordeal is over. This year, I'm finding it very hard to enjoy the holidays, because I feel so rushed all the time. The holiday spirit doesn't seem alive and well.

When I came home last night, my neighbor caught me to give me a plate of homemade sugar cookies. He also wished me a Merry Christmas. I was so surprised by the gift that instead of wishing him good cheer or happy holidays, I said, "Thanks, you too!" I plan on baking some muffins or cookies to share with my family and neighbors for New Years, so that's when I'll get to spread my holiday cheer.

No sooner had I walked in the door, did my boyfriend call. He had mentioned how it also felt like Christmas wasn't even here. That was until he wished someone Happy Holidays. Literally as soon as he started wishing others Happy Holidays did he feel the holiday spirit. He said, "Duh, wish people Happy Holidays and you'll feel better."

Instead of focusing on the traffic, consumerism, and fattening food, look for places where you can spread cheer. A simple Happy Holidays to someone in the elevator accompanied by a smile will do wonders. Spread cheer and you will find cheer. It's like when you buy a new car and suddenly everywhere you look, someone has that same model of car. Those cars were always on the road, but you never noticed before.

What little way can you spread cheer today?

Satisfaction Guaranteed

Are you following your heart's desire, or are you speeding down the path of safety and guarantees? It is very easy to deceive yourself into thinking you are doing something because you love it, when really you are going after what you think has a guarantee.

Take me for instance. I still work in Corporate America (with a capital C no less). There I enjoy helping people with computers. Since my company pays for a computer science degree, that seems like the logical choice for me to continue my education. Do I enjoy using computers? Sure. Do I like helping people with them? Sure. But it's not what I do for fun at home. I like computers, but I don't love computer. However, I can find numerous job opportunities plain as day for folks with computer science degrees and programming experience.

Since I like coaching so much and enjoy working with people, psychology seems like the next best thing. But do I go home and pour through psychology today magazines or self-help books? Granted I have plenty of the self-help books, but I only like psychology. I don't yearn for it. Yet again my fears creep up and tell me that pursuing psychology is safe. So again I look at schools offering courses.

It's so easy to fall into what we think is safe. Unfortunately, most thoughts are based on stale information. Do I know for a fact that computers will take me where I want to go? Actually I knew a few computers folks who get laid off every time a company restructures itself. They come back as consultants and eventually get rehired only to have the cycle start again and again. I know therapists that don't get paid as much as they should because of insurance company rates changing all the time. Moreover, they have to wait for the claims to come in, sometimes waiting months just to get paid.

What do I truly want to do? Compose music, sell my art & designs, write stories, and inspire others through coaching. Do you know any worn path for doing all of that? I don't. You won't find job postings for "creative person who likes to do a lot of things including x,y, and z." And telling people I'm becoming a creativity coach - most people screw up their faces and ask "What's that?" Yet my satisfaction will be guaranteed if I take the risks and make my own path.

A life lived with regret is no life at all. And living for security isn't life, but mere survival. Are you pursing what you love or what you like? Ask yourself some of these questions.

• Do I like this, or love this?
• If I already have a job now, why not pursue what I love?
• Will I regret not doing this?
• Do I not want to do this because it's scary and unknown?
• Am I doing this because I think I should, or because I want to?
• Do I have enough information about my interest, or am I just going off
  assumptions (starving artists, mom said musicians never make any money)
• What really moves me?
• If I had guaranteed success in anything I went after, what would I do?

What would you do? Who would you be?

The Importance of Doing Nothing

What exactly does that mean? Martha Beck in her book The Joy Diet talks about how doing nothing should be an important ingredient in your day. Do we sit there and stare at the wall? Isn't that close to meditation? The act of "doing nothing" is the paradox it seems to be. Is is the active pursuit of doing nothing that perplexes us. Let me try to explain is with a metaphor.

Our minds are so constantly filled with images, junk, lists, thoughts, ideas, complaints, self-criticisms. The list could go on forever. Doing nothing means letting all of those thoughts drop off like a spilled glass of water falling all over the table and floor. The water runs onto your lap. You bolt from the chair. You rush to clear the table. You head jerks to find the nearest towel. You pay attention to spilt water. Your thoughts are like spilt water. 

What doing nothing asks of you is for you to just sit there. You must actively stop yourself from getting up. Feel the wetness. Stop the judgement about what is getting wet, what is getting wrecked. Like water, your thoughts threaten to make a mess if they are being ignored. They demand attention. However, like water, they will seek their own level and get to room temperature if left unattended.

The other day I sloshed cold water on myself at the sink. I cannot wash dishes or rinse them off without dousing myself at least little. For about 2 minutes the ice cold water soaked the front of my sweater; the sweater taking a healthy drink of it. Yikes it was cold. It wasn't so bad, so long as my baggy sweater didn't rub up against my stomach. But when it did - wooo! Eventually the water temperature got warmer and matched my own temperature (at least a little bit). Then I was able to ignore the wetness.

We need to give our minds a rest, we need to let those rushing fluid thoughts of ours slow down and reach their level. This is actively doing nothing. We will not drown in them, they will just slow down and become still. They will become room temperature.

Exercise - Just about every meditation book on the planet will tell you this...

1. Sit in a comfortable position
2. Become aware of your breathing.
3. Notice your thoughts.
4. Let them go where they must.
5. Do not react to your thoughts.
6. Do nothing about them.
7. Do this for at least 5 minutes a day.

Pay the Bills While Building the Dream

When you hear the phrase "follow your dreams", does it make you think that you have to quit your job and drop everything? I think it's a very common after thought. Barbara Sher has said that if you quit your job to become a painter, you'd go nuts. You could never just drop everything and paint all day, or sing all day, or be with animals all day.

Start slowly with whatever it is you are doing. One of the worst dream killers is taking something you love and expecting it to make you a living immediately. Aside from winning the lottery, the "overnight success" is actually the result of many years of hard work. Even one hit wonders have to practice in their garage before someone hears their song.

Eric Maisel, who trains us creativity coaches, has said that artists and musicians need plenty of practice. While the dream to become a dancer is glowing within you, you will get no where unless you dance and dance and dance. Have you really been practicing and practicing all these years? If so, good for you! If not, then get going. When you start slowly with practice, you will get experience and exposure in your field of interest. Also, you will know if dancing, for example, is truly for you. You may only like to watch dancers and may learn that promoting ballet may be your true calling.

For now keep paying the bills with your current job. If, however, your job is toxic, look first to getting a new job that will keep food on the table. You need to take care of yourself financially before you can venture down a new path. And when you venture, do it slowly. Pay the bills while building the dream.

Take a risk

Many of us dream of fantastic lives filled with adventure, passion, creativity, and fun. However, we also long for security, reassurances, and guarantees. If your need for security is great, you may never find that adventure you desire because your worrying will kill it before it even starts.

To experience all that life has to offer, you need to take a risk. When people hear the word risk they usually think of those folks who quit their jobs and moved to Alaska, Hollywood, or Africa. Those are big changes that only some of us are willing to make. But taking a risk can be as simple as not wearing makeup anymore, taking that art class, putting out a personal ad, or starting college again.

When we take risks, we open ourselves up to the many possibilities in store for us. If we over think each scenario in attempt to unearth all possible problems and outcomes, we really limit ourselves. How? Because the information we image to be current is usually very old. Your mind uses past experiences to help you evaluate you current choices. But what if you want to take a dance class and you know nothing about dance? You can't evaluate the experience of dance until you've tried it. And there's the risk. You have no idea is dance is something you like, and you will never know if you sit how thinking about it.

Write down one activity you always wished to try, but would never dare attempt. Write down what you think you know about it. Then, take the risk anyway and see if your worries and thoughts even hit the mark. Have fun, enjoy life, and try something new.

Everyday

What kind of life do you want? Do you want to make a change? If so, whatever you wish to do, you must do every day.

Do you want health?
Do you want fitness?
Do you want love?
Do you want more friends?
Do you want abundance?

Often times, when we want to lose weight, make new friends, eliminate road rage, or save money, we do our best for a week. Or perhaps we are so good we keep up with our new change for an entire month. Is it time for a celebration? Of course! But don't forget, you must keep it up every day.

For the changes in your life to manifest and take root, you need to make small consistent steps daily. These steps don't have to be overwhelming, but you can't be healthy after working out for just a month. Health is achieved over a lifetime in small every day actions. If you want to be a good Christian, or good Wiccan, or good Taoist, you don't just go to church once, do one ritual to the Goddess, or meditate one moment . You must practice your spiritual philosophy - you must live it - each and every day.

Do you feel overwhelmed thinking that you have to do something every day? You only live one day at a time, so it's not as hard as you think. Just be prepared to make positive forward steps each and every day. Before you know it, you'll get caught up in the positive momentum you've created for yourself.

What small steps can you make each and every day to move your life in the direction you want?

Go the Distance

Starting any project brings energy and excitement. We get ourselves worked up. We tell our loved ones what we are planning on doing. We imagine ourselves being who we wish to be. But when it comes time to get started on that dream, that journey, the reality of it all comes crashing down.

Going the distance takes work! Imagine that?

What is it you are after? Are you prepared to go the distance it takes to get where you going? Often times we focus so much on where/who we want to be in life that we forget about the distance it takes (emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental) to get there.

Do you want to lose weight? Are you prepared to exercise 5 times a week or more? Are you prepared to change your diet? Give up sweets? Walk the dog more?
Do you want romance in your life? Are you prepared to learn more about yourself? Release old baggage and old beliefs? Make attempts to meet new people?
Do you want a better career? Are you prepared to work for it? Get that advanced degree? Study on your spare time? Turn off the TV?

Each thing you want to do has many small steps. Moreover, each dream takes many hours to turn into a reality. Sometimes it's fun to daydream of where or who we'd like to be. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact we should all daydream more often! But in order to get from here to there, you must go the distance.

Right now I'm taking piano lessons. When I was a child, I took lessons from age 8 to age 15.  It's been years since I had professional lessons, and it's quite daunting. Could I imagine myself playing complicated pieces? Could I visualize an audience enjoying the songs I've composed myself? Sure! Was I thrilled with the idea of being a pianist?

When the reality came crashing down that to realize my vision I had to practice at least an hour a day, maybe four or five hours if I wanted to be really good, the huge dream of being a pianist started  fading in the wind.

Am I still going to practice every day and do my best? Yes. But now I realize that being a pianist means daily practicing. Am I willing to dedicate four to five hours a night practicing? No. I love so many things that it's important for me to make time for them all. I am aware of the distance and of how much I can travel and better yet where I want to end up.

Are you prepared to go the distance for yourself, for your dreams?

The Loudspeaker

While listening to Debbie Ford at Hayhouseradio.com, she briefly asked listeners if there were things they said to themselves in the mirror, messages that are said to the self through a loudspeaker. I just want to expand on that. If everything we ever said out loud or to ourselves would be said over a loudspeaker, what would we talk about?

If you could put your deepest thoughts and desires on a billboard, what would you say? Do you want "I can't do this." or "I'm not an artist" on a billboard above your house? Do you want "too fat" or "not handsome enough" put on a button you wear all the time?

Think about what you say to yourself. If those negative thoughts were said loudly, I think we'd all realize how much they impact ourselves and those around us.

So, instead, let the positive shine through. Look in the mirror and say, "I love you. You rock." I did that one day. Honest! I really did that. It felt so silly at first, but now when I look in the mirror I think "hey good lookin'!"

Or, I dare you to yell in your house or in your car "I'm awesome! I rock!" or whatever positive exclamation that works for you. Change what is said on that external and internal loudspeaker.

The Job Loop

Are you stuck in the Job Loop? The Job Loop is a mind set that keeps you stuck doing things only if they further your career or get you more money. Yes, we all need to pay the bills, but if you are ever going to start doing what you enjoy, you need to forget about making a living.

Obviously if you are not employed, you have other things to worry about. But, if you have skills and can hold down a job, then focus on the fun!!! Get out of the Job Loop.

When you decide2matter, you will likely want to make a career change. There are tons of surveys out there that claim around 98% of us aren't happy at our jobs. How sad is that? So, of course we dream of doing something different. You would love to be that 2% living your dreams. However, most of those dreams stop short because we worry about making money doing what we love. Yet if you constrict yourself to only what you *think* will succeed and make money, you are severely limiting yourself all together.

You have no idea what is in store for you. You cannot even imagine ALL of the wonderful opportunities that will come you way. And most importantly you will never discover new avenues if you put away a dream because it won't "pay the bills".

Are you stuck in The Job Loop? Do you only look into things that will further your career? When was the last time you did something just for the fun of it? Are you married to your job? your career?

If so, you may be stuck in the Job Loop. I'll write tomorrow about ways to escape The Job Loop.