Decide 2 Matter

The Best Year Of Your Life

So, have you decided what will make 2006 the best year of your life? For Christmas I received Debbie Ford's book The Best Year Of Your Life.

I haven't finished it yet, but so far I'm pretty impressed. One thing she mentions that I never really thought of is this: identify the feelings of success that you are after.

So often we get caught up in the trappings of success (the big car, the better wardrobe, the fame), that we don't realize all we want is acceptance, recognition, and love.

For 2006, define what success means for you. Does it mean making lots of money? If so, what feeling is behind that wish? Will that mean you have arrived? That you have accomplished your goals? That you are  a worthwhile person? How will all of that make you feel?

If we work overtime and charge up a storm to get the fancy wardrobe to create that picture of success, in truth we only create more stress. What in your life right now would make you feel successful? If it is the huge promotion, are you willing to put all the work in for it?

This year look at how you wish to feel and then shape your life around that.

New and Fresh

Have you ever watched a baby discover  something for the first time? Everything around him is new and fresh. Do you wish you could bring those days back? Yes, perhaps you would rather not put everything into your mouth to discover what it is, but why not look at things anew?

Do you really see the sky? Or is it the same boring weather: too cold, too hot, too wet, too dry. Is your car just your transportation to work, or do you really see the way the metal curves, the color of the paint, the many lights on it?

Do you hear the birds sing or do you ignore them? Do you feel the textures of your clothes against your skin? Do you smell your food before you shove it down your throat?

If you answered no to all of these questions, you need to revamp your world and start looking at things with a fresh set of eyes, ears, etc.

How do you do this?

1. Slow down and notice where you are right now
2. Shut off your inner critic and inner judge
3. Throw away all previous knowledge of what you are experiencing
4. Be still
5. Just notice life around you!

It really is easy, we just need to slow down first and notice the world around us. What fresh new thing did you notice today?

Rest This Season

Slow down. You will get there. Your dreams will grow and flourish. Your waiting, your striving, your longing will not make any of it happen any faster. While you wait for the seeds of your dreams to grow, you can now take time to rest. Once the seeds start to push through the soil, you will then pick up once more to toil and strive and harvest.

If we changed the seasons to fit our lives, we would have spring and summer all year round. The new growth of spring is exciting and fun. Flowers, babies, and bees greet us with the sun and rain. Soon the heat comes and there is growth in abundance. Plants turn a deep rich green. Weeds wrestle for control in our gardens. Baby birds soon take flight.

However, when fall comes, we are still itching for growth and sunshine. Each season is needed. Fall brings us the shedding of skin, leaves, and excess growth. Winter welcomes a deep icy sleep where animals hibernate and plants die back. You mustn't forget these cycles. We all must rest to maintain our health and balance.

Are you making time to rest? What one activity in your life do you need to let go of? Is there something you've out grown? What can you do right now to rest?

Letting Go of the Outcome

Not only do we have to let go of our expectations, we have to let go of the expected outcome. Whenever we strive for something, we must have a loose grip on where we aim to go. If we are so intent on finishing our goal as quickly as possible with the best results as soon as possible, we will neither move forward, nor have a good time. We will become stiff, burned out, and likely cranky.

Life is like a boat. Set your course. Then enjoy the calm of the water, the salty breeze, the call of the gulls, and dancing dolphins. Let the water and wind guide you along. Things may get choppy along the way, but remember to float along through it.

Set sail freely. Let yourself be guided once you chart your course. Enjoy the ride. Let go of the outcome.

Let Go of Expectations

I spoke about being open to new possibilities, but now I want you to stop and just be. As "woo woo" and new agey as that sounds, I want you to just look around at your belongings, at your surroundings.  Stop thinking and see what's there. Look with your eyes, not your mind.

We constantly fill our lives with labels and judgments about everything. Each day is a new day. Each moment, each breath is a new breath. Our minds and egos are constantly trying evaluate where we stand in relationship to everything.

Although we need comparisons to help us determine who we are (John is shorter than Mary. Mary is taller than Sally), we put blinders on ourselves and our experiences by living each moment from the script of yesterday. Try living without expectations.

When you go to work in the morning, allow the day to unfold as it will. Do not expect to have voice mails waiting for you. Do not expect the annoying customer. Do not expect a long drawn out meeting. Do not expect a traffic jam on the way home.

Letting go of expectations allows you to ease into the day and go with the flow. Don't think about it - just let go. Try it and see what happens.

Relax and Have a Cup of Tea

Do you drink coffee in the morning? Do you need it to start your day? Coffee isn't a drink of mine and that just fine with me. The main association I have with coffee is the addiction to speed and alertness or morning crabbiness. Unfortunately, this isn't a true wakefulness or jolt of energy because too many people live with the mantra "don't talk to me until I've had my coffee". If we need a morning drink every day to wake us up, perhaps we need to look at how we schedule our day and how we live our lives.

Relax, slow down, and drink some tea.

Drinking tea for me stirs up memories of my favorite vacation place, Maine. When I take that toasty warm artisan made mug into my hands, I'm transported to the calm lake, sandy beach, and serene loon calls that make Maine the vacation land that it is. What is your association with drinking tea? I also think of English crumpets and dainty napkins; Japanese tea ceremonies with elegant dress; and little girl parties with fluffy stuffed friends.

Try adding a cup of tea to your day or week. Tell yourself that tea time is time to unwind and enjoy the warm flavors of life. Have a mug, relax, and enjoy.

Be Real

I'm sure many of us have heard the expression "Get Real!". Usually this is referring to one of our dreams that we'd like to accomplish. Or we've just explained how something is working out positively when everyone else thinks it should fail.

Being Real meaning just not "getting it", but living life fully from your own perspective. Here's what I mean.

Everything around you was first produced by someone's imagining of it. The world as we know it is silently confirmed and agreed upon by everyone in it. The very thoughts we think make something "real".

I don't remember who said this, but nothing is evil, lest thinking make it so.

Have you ever heard someone say "well, in the real world". I refrain from saying that there is only one real world, because there isn't. It's foolish to think that the way you see things is the way the entire world sees them. So, in order to get real and be real, you need to recognize that there are many different ways to see the world.

Be real. Live from your version of how the world is. Then, when someone says "get real" you can say "I am". What's important is how you see the world and how you are being in it. Don't let others sway your version of reality (unless you are a Debbie Downer - heh). Check it against how you see the world and against your personal experience. Then you can be true and real to yourself.

And, side note. If you do see the world as a scary and horrible place, then that is what you get. I firmly believe that the universee produces the experience we desire. So, when forming your own version of reality through your thoughts and actions, make sure the world you think of is the kind you want to live in. Most of us are doing this unconsciously, but make a choice to be real and create a better world - one that matters. Then, again, when someone says get real, you will know that you are.

Taking It Easy

Do you ever feel like you are in a hurry to make your move, take your stand, and to live your life to the fullest? Similar to my post about driving the speed limit, today I feel it's important to focus on slowing down and taking it easy.

Sometimes I get so excited to work on this website and my other creative ideas that I get swept away. As I ride that energy like surfer on a wave, the sharks of exhaustion swim happily by waiting for me to fall off my board. Of course the only real surfing I've ever done is surfing the net, but you get the idea. However, when I don't take real breaks I fall dangerously close to those big sharp teeth of exhaustion and burn out.

When we have unreal expectations on when we must accomplish our goals and live life to the fullest, we forget that it's okay to take it easy and live for right now. Each step is important on this journey we've decided to venture on. When you decide 2 matter, your health, sanity, relaxation, fun, and overall well being must matter, too.

Things to Consider

What have you done lately to relax?
Do you add that onto your to-do list?
Do you have a to-do list?
Are you taking it easy?

Take a break and take it easy.  Stop surfing and soak in the water or even lay on the beach. Your well being matters, too!

All made up

Has it ever occured to you that we are making all of this up? All of it?

Most of our tastes, worldviews, even the food we like to eat is all based on some of the following things.

• who we popped out of (go mom!)
• what soil we landed on
• what language we speak
• if we grew up with cable (I didn't have it!)
• if our parents had a college education
• the town we lived (or live) in today
• where we work
• the food we eat (foods can have a drug like effect on your body, thus affecting your mind)
• the religion we were taught
• the schools we went to

Those are just some of the things I can think of that have affected me over the years. What has affected you?

The reason I'm bringing this up is because it's often difficult to change who we are if we don't know where we've come from. Start examining your beliefs, your thought patterns, and the "history" you've been telling yourself and everyone around you.

Look at who you are. Do you like what you see? You can change, but you have to start from where you are right now.