- Can you tell me a little about yourself?
- What are your strengths and weaknesses?
- If you have a million dollars, what would you do with it?
- What makes you a good person?
- What are you good at?
- What do you dislike the most?
I have a feeling that if there is any part of your life where you aren't truly happy, then you are lying to yourself on one or more of these questions.
On some level, you are so entrenched in your beliefs about who you are, habitually retelling the story of you, that any real inkling of who you are is just buried.
How do I know this? Think of a time you told a white lie in order to not hurt someone's feelings. Or think of an instance where you agreed with someone just to make him or her happy.
Here's an easy one... Remeber a time, because I'm sure it's happened to everyone, where a loved one made you a special meal. And to your surprise, it was completely dreadful. However, you had to fake a smile and eat the entire thing.
Now imagine that behavior multipled many times over the course of your life. Michael Neill, a coach and author I admire, said that faking it until you make it is a horrible idea because who wants to trust a liar. Who is that liar? You. You've been lying to yourself. No wonder you don't know who you are or what you want in your life.
So, start small. Start uncovering areas in your life where you run on autopilot. Pay attention to the times you are being habitually you.
- When are you saing yes when you mean no?
- When do you just go along becuase it's easier than expressing your thoughts?
- When do you avoid conflict?
- When do you pull back?
- Where do you give in and go along because it's easy?
- When are you habitually "you"?
Or another angle
- Do you like the car you drive?
- Do you like your body? Your health?
- Do you like the clothes you usually wear?
- Do you like the food you usually eat?
- Do you like your friends?
- Do you like your life?
- Do you like yourself?